Emotional Regulation Skills: 8 Small Daily Habits
What emotional regulation is and eight small daily habits that help: naming emotions, pausing, reappraisal, breathing, movement, sleep, reaching out.
Emotions aren’t the problem. Anger, sadness, anxiety and frustration are normal and often useful. The difficulty comes when they take over: snapping at someone, shutting down, or avoiding something important because of how it feels.
Emotional regulation is the set of skills for noticing, understanding and influencing your emotions so you can respond in ways you choose. This guide covers eight small habits that build those skills. It’s part of our habit-building guides.
Note: this is general information. If emotions often feel overwhelming, or you have thoughts of harming yourself, please contact a doctor, a mental health professional or a crisis line right away.
What emotional regulation is (and isn’t)
Regulating emotions doesn’t mean suppressing them. Research on emotion regulation often contrasts strategies like reappraisal (changing how you interpret a situation) with suppression (hiding or pushing down feelings). Reappraisal is generally linked with better outcomes than habitual suppression.
The aim is to feel your emotions and still choose your actions.
Eight daily habits for emotional regulation
1. Name the emotion
Putting feelings into words, sometimes called affect labeling, can reduce their intensity. Try being specific: not “bad” but “disappointed,” “embarrassed,” “overwhelmed.”
Habit: a few times a day, ask “What am I feeling right now?” and name it.
2. Pause before reacting
A few seconds between a feeling and an action make a difference.
Habit: when you feel a strong reaction, take three slow breaths before speaking or replying.
3. Slow your breathing
Slow breathing, especially with longer exhales, can help calm the body’s stress response.
Habit: two minutes of slow breathing after lunch or before a stressful meeting. See how to build a meditation habit.
4. Reappraise the situation
Ask: “Is there another way to see this?” A colleague’s short email may be about their busy day, not about you.
Habit: when upset, write one alternative explanation.
5. Move your body
Physical activity is one of the most reliable mood lifters for many people.
Habit: a 10-minute walk when you feel tense. See the walking habit.
6. Protect sleep
Emotions are harder to regulate when you’re tired. A consistent sleep routine is a foundation for emotional regulation.
Habit: a regular wind-down; see the night routine for anxiety.
7. Write it down
Writing about difficult feelings helps many people make sense of them.
Habit: five minutes of journaling in the evening, or a gratitude journal.
8. Reach out
Talking to someone you trust is one of the most effective regulation strategies. You don’t have to manage everything alone.
Habit: a weekly check-in with a friend or family member.
Build one habit at a time
Pick the habit that fits your hardest moments:
| If you mostly… | Start with |
|---|---|
| React quickly and regret it | Pause before reacting |
| Feel overwhelmed | Naming the emotion, slow breathing |
| Ruminate at night | Writing it down, a wind-down routine |
| Feel low or flat | Movement, reaching out |
| Get stressed by small things | Reappraisal, sleep |
Attach it to a cue you already have (after lunch, before bed). See habit stacking examples.
Disclosure: Cohorty publishes this journal. Some people book a short Cohorty session for journaling, stretching or a walk, alongside others with no camera or chat, to make these habits regular. See how to use Cohorty.
For more on daily habits for anxiety, see anxiety management through daily habits. For kinder self-talk after hard moments, see self-compassion.
Common questions
What is emotional regulation?
The ability to notice, understand and influence your emotions so you can respond to situations in ways you choose, rather than being driven by the emotion.
How can I regulate my emotions better?
Practice naming emotions, pausing before reacting, slow breathing, reappraising situations, moving your body, sleeping well, writing things down and talking to people you trust.
Is suppressing emotions bad?
Habitually suppressing emotions is generally linked with worse outcomes than strategies like reappraisal. It’s better to acknowledge feelings and choose how to act.
When should I get help with emotions?
If emotions often feel overwhelming, affect your relationships or work, or you have thoughts of self-harm, talk to a doctor or mental health professional.
